he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
