Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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