He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
