Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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