I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
