If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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