You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
