I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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