He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
