it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My feet surprised me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
