if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All I want is dick and wine.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
