So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
