A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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