I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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