google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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