So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
