Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(389): View more from

So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.

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(214): View more from Texas

I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.

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(404): View more from Georgia

and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.

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(440): View more from Ohio

He called his prostate his "boner button".

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(757): View more from Virginia

Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?

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(614): View more from Ohio

-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins

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