I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
