On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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