Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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