Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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