I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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