We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize