you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I deserve this hangover.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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