ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize