he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
