I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
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So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
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I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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