Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
