whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
