And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
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downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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