One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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