Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
