he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it glows. i had to have it.
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And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
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