Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize