I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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