it was like eating out sand paper
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
