Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
