have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
