you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
