Your tits are I can't wait for
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
