I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
