Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
