look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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