he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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