Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
