don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
