I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize