Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
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He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
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She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.