Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
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Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.