If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner