just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants