Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
