nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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