so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
