She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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