News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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