That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
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working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
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we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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