I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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